It's important to recognize that funerals and memorial ceremonies are for the living ... for those who are affected by the loss of a loved one. It is through the funeral process that a number of emotional needs are met for those who grieve.

A funeral is similar to other ceremonies in our lives. Like a graduation ceremony, a wedding, a baptism, and a bar mitzvah, a funeral is a rite of passage by which we recognize an important event that distinguishes our lives.

The funeral declares that a death has occurred. It celebrates the life that has been lived, and offers family and friends the opportunity to pay tribute to their loved one.

The gathering of family and friends for a time of sharing and funeral service helps to provide emotional support so needed at this time. This will help those who grieve to face the reality of death and consequently, to take the first step toward a healthy emotional adjustment.

The funeral can and does take on many varied forms. Funerals can last from minutes to months and are usually influenced by the lifestyle and values of the bereaved family and friends.

"What Options Are Available in Services and Disposition?"

A valuable aspect of contemporary funerals is their individuality. Whether a ceremony is elaborate or simple, funerals are often individualized to reflect the life of the deceased and to hold special meaning for family and other survivors. A service may reflect one's religious beliefs as a reaffirmation of faith in a greater life beyond this world. Some families choose to reflect upon the occupation or hobbies of the deceased, and some choose to center the service around an ethnic background or social affiliation.

In our society, three basic forms of final disposition are practiced. The first is earth burial, which continues to be the form of disposition chosen most often.

Cremation is also a choice. This is a process of preparing the body for final disposition whereby the body is reduced by intense heat over several hours to a few pounds of small fragments. These cremated remains are usually placed in an urn, which may be buried, placed in a memorial niche, or kept in some other location. Cremated remains may also be scattered where permitted by law.

Finally, entombment in a crypt is also a choice and is one of the oldest forms of disposition. Today many cemeteries maintain crypts for entombment, which may be in a mausoleum or in an outdoor garden.

"What Does a Funeral Director Do?"

It has been estimated that over 136 individual activities must take place in order for one funeral to be conducted. The funeral director is actually an organizational specialist.

Here is a condensed list of some of the more visible activities of a typical funeral director.

• Removal and transferring the deceased from place of death to the Funeral Home.
• Professional care of the deceased, which may include sanitary washing, embalming preparation, restorative art, dressing, hairdressing, casketing and cosmetology.
• Conduct a complete consultation with family members to gather necessary information and to discuss specific arrangements for a funeral.
• File all certificates, permits, affidavits, and authorizations, as may be required.
• Acquire a requested amount of certified copies of the death certificate needed to settle the estate of the deceased.
• Compile information and create an obituary for placement in the newspaper and/or website of the family's choice.
• Make arrangements with a family's choice of clergy person, church, music, etc.
• Make arrangements with cemetery, crematory, or other place of disposition.
• The providing of a register book, prayer cards, funeral folders, and acknowledgements, as requested by a family.
• Arrange for clergy honorariums, music, flowers, death certificates, obituaries, additional transportation, etc.
• Care and arrangement of floral pieces and the post funeral distribution as directed by a family.
• Arrange for pallbearers, automobiles, and special services (fraternal or military) as requested by a family
• Care and preservation of all floral cards, mass cards, or other memorial contributions presented to the funeral home.
• Your funeral director, with his/her staff personnel, will direct the funeral in a most professional manner, and be in complete charge of the funeral procession to the cemetery or other place of disposition.
• Assist a family with social security, veterans insurance, grief counseling, and other death-related claims.
• A post funeral meeting, by the funeral director, with a family, to deliver such things as the register book, floral and mass cards, and to ascertain whether or not he/she can be of further assistance.

“What purpose does a funeral serve?”

The funeral and the ceremony that accompanies it are indeed very important. For those who are left behind, a funeral provides a place for family and friends to gather for support and to reminisce; an opportunity to celebrate the life and accomplishments of a loved one; a chance to say goodbye; and the focal point from which the healing process can begin. The funeral identifies that a person’s life has been lived, not that a death has occurred. It is also important to notify the community that this person has died. There are people beyond the immediate family who have the right to grieve a death.

“Is it OK to have a viewing and not a service?”

Yes, if that is the wish of the family. The funeral director will arrange designated times for calling hours, have the times published in the newspaper and simply add to the obituary that services will be private or at the convenience of the family. This information will make it clear to the public as to arrangements, and fulfill the wishes of the family.

“May I make all the necessary arrangements in advance?”

Yes, usually all arrangements may be made in advance. When you plan ahead, you will be able to consider the many options available. You will have the opportunity to make an informed decision about your funeral and cemetery arrangements, and the form of memorial you prefer. You will be able to make choices that are meaningful to both you and your family, and you will gain peace of mind knowing your family and friends will be relieved of the emotional and financial burden often associated with making arrangements when a death occurs.

“Will life insurance pay for funerals?”

As a convenient method of payment, most quality funeral homes will allow for an insurance assignment. This assignment transaction is processed by the funeral home, releasing only the funeral expenses to the funeral service provider, and with any remaining balance going directly to the beneficiary. The insurance assignment is an effective, convenient means in which to cover funeral expenses.

“Must an obituary be published in a newspaper?”

The publication of an obituary notice is a matter of your personal choice. While most newspapers control the editorial format, you have the right to limit the amount of information, if any, provided to them.

“Why would I need to purchase certified copies of a death certificate?”

Certified copies are used as proof of death for the transfer of stocks and bonds, banking transactions and life insurance. Your funeral provider can help you determine how many you may need to settle an estate and also secure them for you.

”How can I personalize a funeral service?”

One way is to bring personal items into the funeral home to be displayed in or near the casket. For example, an avid golfer may have a favorite putter placed in the casket. An avid hunter or fisherman might have some of his or her personal effects or trophies displayed on a memory table. A person who quilted could have the casket draped with a quilt they made.

“What is a memory table and/or a memory board?”

At the funeral home, a memory table may be used to display personal items of the deceased. A memory board would have a collection of family photographs attached and can be displayed on an easel for visitors to reminisce about their life experiences with the deceased.

“If I donate my remains to medical science, can there still be a service?”

In addition to coordinating the donation, your funeral service provider can arrange for either a Memorial Service or a Gathering of Friends to be held at a time and place convenient for the family.

“How many pallbearers will be needed?

The traditional format regarding the number of pallbearers is six (6), primarily due to the length of the standard casket, so that three people on either side can conveniently carry the casket. Most caskets have additional handles at each end which will accommodate two more bearers.